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“I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”

(Source: mayawiig)

No backhanded compliments

fatoutloud:

Some of these might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised. A compliment should probably never include:

  • “For a” as in “You’re really pretty for a fat girl”
  • “I guess”  as in “If you like that dress I guess I like it”
  • “such…but” as in “You have such a pretty face, but you need to do something about your weight.”
  • “brave” as in “You’re so brave to wear a sleeveless shirt”.

Drop the “for a” and “I guess”. Drop “such”, “but” and everything after, consider adding an adjective.

  • You look very pretty.
  • I like that dress too.

Any mention of “brave” that is not followed by “for fighting off those wild animals” is a bad call.  Try “You look great in that shirt.”

Ragen Chastain Compliment Minefield

FOR REAL THOUGH! STOP TELLING ME I’M SO BRAVE!

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