Some of these might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised. A compliment should probably never include:
- “For a” as in “You’re really pretty for a fat girl”
- “I guess” as in “If you like that dress I guess I like it”
- “such…but” as in “You have such a pretty face, but you need to do something about your weight.”
- “brave” as in “You’re so brave to wear a sleeveless shirt”.
Drop the “for a” and “I guess”. Drop “such”, “but” and everything after, consider adding an adjective.
- You look very pretty.
- I like that dress too.
Any mention of “brave” that is not followed by “for fighting off those wild animals” is a bad call. Try “You look great in that shirt.”
FOR REAL THOUGH! STOP TELLING ME I’M SO BRAVE!
Photos thanks to Gillian Fry
PROOF that I did it! This is what my Brain Frame show looked like…Thanks to Lyra Hill for making it happen and Gillian Fry for the great documentation!
This summer, I have spent $115 dollars shopping online for bathing suits, bikinis to be specific, which DID NOT FIT ME. Sure, some of them I could get on my body, but inevitably, all of the trendy size 24/F21+ 3x bikinis I bought did NOT FIT.Last summer I spent a mere $8 on swimwear, buying only a lap suit at a local plus size retail store - intending to wear it to water aerobics. I have worn this suit a lot, and now it has a TINY HOLE IN THE BUM. I keep wearing it because people swear they can’t see it. SHHHH. No one look at my bum hole!The summer before last, I spent $105 on four pieces of swimwear - one bikini from evans which turned out to be too big all around, an Old Navy longline bikini top in a 3x that turned out to be too big for my boobs (but I wear anyway), an Old Navy XXL tankini top in some weird green with polka dots that I really THOUGHT fit me in the store but turns out to be HEINOUSLY uncomfortable IRL, and a pair of hot pink old navy bottoms in a 4x that I scored online for $15 during a super sale (yes, that is a SUPER SALE for plus bottoms. I know a whole bikini costs like $15 at target if you can wear S/M/L/XL etc).You know what I’d really like? To be able to shop for swimwear IN AN ACTUAL STORE. Actually, let me rephrase that. I’d like to be able to shop for fashionable swimwear in an actual store (not even Lane Bryant carries swimwear in stores here in Austin, Texas where I live. This is Texas, I need a lot of swimwear). In my ACTUAL size. That’s a size 26/28 for those of you who are playing along at home.I do not think that is too much to ask.You know what else I’d really like? To be able to talk about my swimwear woes with other superfat people. people with a quirky aesthetic who don’t want to just buy something from the “extended sizes” (fuck you very much) section of the Avenue (SWIM DRESSES ONLY). Bonus points if these people are queer or understand my complicated gender/aesthetic. Hit me up if this describes you. I know you have a lot to say.In my dream want world, we (the superfat quirky ones) would all pile in the car and go shopping together! In a real store! one with tons of spandex for us to wiggle into. Big bold colors! I just want to walk into a store and flounce out with something fabulous, you know?Since dream land doesn’t exist, I’d really like for less-fat or not-fat people who also occupy the online spaces I spend A LOT of time complaining about my swimwear woes in to do a couple of things for me.#1 - Stop suggesting swimwear that does not come in my size. Check the fucking size chart. I KNOW there are hella cute options out there for up to a 3x/22/24 this year. I’VE ALREADY TRIED TO MAKE TOO MANY OF THEM SUBMIT TO MY WILL. People have benefitted from these swimsuits failure to comply to fitting on my unruly body. We all know.#2 - Stop suggesting I get something made custom by someone who lives far away and does not understand my rolls/cannot fit me in person. This is not what I want. This is not what I should have to do to buy swimwear that meets my requirements (which for the record are: brightly colored, friendly to small boobs and lots of back fat, preferably a tie back top). I do not need a sparkle princess glamourkini. I should be able to buy off the rack.#3 - Start reaching out to retailers to advocate for fatter fats. Do you buy things from swimsuitsforall.com (which stops at size 24), F21+ (stops at a 3x which measures out to about a TWENTY TECHNICALLY SPEAKING), Rue107+, ASOS, etc? Well, next time you do, drop them a note to let them know that your fatter friends would enjoy their fabulous garments just as much as you do. (this suggestion comes from the amazing Afrotitty). Be an advocate. People are going to listen to you more than they listen to me.
Don’t you worry. I may have a lot of complaints, but I haven’t given up the fight. I have two more swimsuits coming in the mail next week.In the meantime, I’ll be keeping it aggressively fat in clothing optional swim situations.
I just wrote a post about this same problem. I ordered the F21 bikini and one from Walmart. I like the bikini, but I really do need a larger cut and more support. If the bottoms were a tad larger and the band was bigger on top I would wear it. The band provides most of the support for the chest, so a thin band just won’t cut it.
I like shopping online because it’s more convient for me to just search for what I want and have it show up at my house. But I guess I’m also accustomed to never finding anything in my size at a brick and mortar store. Because I’ve never really been able to shop in one, like ever.
For this summer, I settled on a one piece. No real bust support, but it’ll work. I wrote all about this here: http://plumppinup.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/the-great-fat-grrrl-bikini-quest-of-summer-2013/
It’s not about sex - they have porn, they have as much fucking porn as they could possibly ask for
they have billboards and ads and primetime tv shows and hollywood movies and websites free videos magazines they have porn channels porn movies with sexy images of women
they have girls on websites who are paid to webcam with them
there are girls who post sexy pics of themselves online for them
none of this is enough, none of this is, at the bottom of it all, what they want
creepshots specifically says this isn’t enough - they don’t want pics of girls knowingly posing (i.e. giving consent)
they want to violate, they want to rape, they want to own every woman walking down the fucking street
they want your teenager daughter, they want your mom, they want you
when you don’t know it, when you can’t say no, when you’re on the bus, when you’re walking down the street, when you’re at the beach
they get off on your violation, they want more proof that women exist for them and them alone
it’s sexy because it’s embarrassing, humiliating; they say it themselves
this is rape culture in its purest form
because women saying yes on screen, women saying yes to their faces, saying yes on their computers, on their phones is not what they want
that’s not “hot” enough
what’s hot is violating your consent, what’s hot is demeaning you, what’s hot is owning a piece of you against your will
and they won’t stop until we are all pornography
And folks want to fucking deny rape culture exists?
THIS IS PURE PROOF
People of the world, stop taking my photo on the street.
Why do you think II have pink hair
Seriously. I almost died. Then I dyed my hair.
So, this is what my night has turned into: GIFs of myself. Lovely.
When I dyed my hair bright red, I joked about the “Little Mermaid realness” I was serving. After a year hiatus from performing, a producer asked me to revive my burlesque act. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I joked about doing a Little Mermaid bit and it killed. So, I got to work on the costuming and started impersonating Ariel.
But the mermaid costume was only a jumping off point. I kept making burlesque costumes, including bras that were too beautiful to cover up. I’ve made several different styles, debuting them in a runway show and modeling them with a burlesque photographer. As a fat person, dressing in revealing, larger-than-life garments is so liberating to me.
More shots are on Plump Pinup Life & Style.
US size 26
My tenderheart is leaving.
I hate everything.
I am the deepest lez.
I’m definitely gonna make some sort of publication chock full of all the love and hate mail I’ve received. One if these days.
The delightful Kriss Abigail has done it again. This preview photo is amazing, and I can’t wait for the rest of the set. We shot nearly my entire collection, and Kriss’s eye for detail has me looking fabulous.
Posing for Kriss has given me a peek into the modeling world and how photo shoots really work. These photos are not real life. They are a creation. They are the result of hours of primping and lighting adjustments and uncomfortable poses and hundreds of frames and photoshop. It’s beautiful, but it’s not natural. And now I see every photo for what it really is because I’ve peeked behind the curtain of this illusion and seen how its made.
This is fantastic
I don’t know, it’s not that much photoshop depending on who you go to. Half the time I can’t tell the difference between edits and non if it weren’t for the watermark. I will say it is a good couple of hours for makeup/hair, but that’s because curls take time. And posing is really fun when you are just having a good time.
If anything, modeling has made me appreciate the art of photography and just the ability to capture a person’s beauty.
I’m not trying to blame everything on airbrushing or Photoshop. And, yes, posing and creating photos is fun. I’m just pointing out that this is a creation, this is not me. This is not real life. And it took me having a photo shoot like this to understand that all the images I am constantly inundated with, that shape my perception of reality, are not actually real. They only exist in a fraction of a second that was manipulated with light and makeup and posing and costumes, etc.